Allan Blackwell: Welcome to your 20 minute podcast with David Brower, where we do our best to give you useful information in 20 minutes or less. Now, here’s your host, five time voice arts award nominee David Brower.
David Brower: Thanks Allan, this is David Brower with your 20 minute podcast and part two of our interview with Alex Okoroji and it is the little things. I mean, that’s how they… Whether you’re nine years old or 69 years old. I mean, that’s how you learn, right? It’s the little things that are shared with you authentically and honestly and from a deep place and, and it gets your attention, you know? And he’s blessed to have you as a mom because he doesn’t even know that he doesn’t know, right? I mean, it’s just who he is. It’s just who he’s becoming. And Oh my God, I got goosebumps just thinking about your son. That is just… That’s fabulous. It’s fabulous.
Alex Okoroji: And I say this because as adults, like you said, a lot of us still deal with other people’s opinion, right? Still deal with, you know, we’re not going to wear what we want to wear because we’re thinking, you know, is it good enough for society, is it flashy enough for society? You still need other people’s opinion for who you should date or marry, you know, if you thought you were great, then yes, you’re great but what if you’re not together? You’re the one in the relationship or you want to build a career or start a business, you need other people’s approval kind of and you find out that this has turned from us not really being able to, you know, or having not been given the freedom to decide for ourselves and make our mistakes and learn from our mistake and embrace that life is filled with flaws and us being not perfect and you know, also having to deal with some of those things. So I think the beauty of having to now raise a child and somehow give him that freedom mindset.
David Brower: I love the way you’re describing here in some of the bio stuff that I’ve read. You’re a verified clarity coach and a reinvention expert. You motivate people by empowering them with the naked philosophy for personal transformation or the Brag factor for creating career success. And those were all just… Those are not normal everyday conversation words. Right? Those are words that get your attention that you go clarity coach, reinvention expert, right? I mean if that’s not pure marketing, I don’t know what that is because it’s genuine. It’s authentic about who you are and what you want to accomplish with people.
Alex Okoroji: Yes, it is and it really isn’t just like I said, it’s not a buzzword, isn’t just something fancy but it’s something that I really lead through and have experience. And when we’re talking about reinvention, for example, you know, I reinvented myself at every stage in my career, right? And all of those different elements of who I am. They say that change is a constant thing, right? A lot of people are afraid of that, I don’t want to call it… You know, some people might call it a transformation, or an evolution, you know, whatever you want to call it, I call it reinvention.
David Brower: I love reinvention. Yeah, I told my wife, we’ve been together 15 years and I told her when we first met, I said, I want to give you a heads up that I usually am pretty good about reinventing myself every couple of years. So I don’t think it’ll be anything that will get in your way, but I just want you to pay attention because it’s kind of who I am. I love change, I embrace change. I’m all about reinvention. And she says, well, that’ll be interesting since I can’t stand change. And it’s worked out great for us, but I was just very honest with her because I’m with you. I mean, if you can’t be genuine and authentic with yourself, how can you be with anybody else, you know?
Alex Okoroji: And you have to be open to those changes. Here’s the thing that keeps life interesting, it keeps you motivated because there’s always something fresh renewed about you. I think that this is also great business strategy as it is a great tool for your personal life. So I’m very sure that your wife is having a really interesting marriage and relationship because she gets to spend time and build life with somebody who is not just maintaining one monotonous presence but is recreating himself or recreating the relationship and recreating and reinventing it that it continues to feel fresh.
David Brower: Exactly right.
Alex Okoroji: And you continue to be fresh.
David Brower: Yeah, and it helps her to be… And conversely, she’s the most practical person on the planet that I’ve ever met, which I’ve never been practical. And so it’s been just a really amazing gift of how we help each other through life you know.
Alex Okoroji: I think that sounds really like a really interesting relationship.
David Brower: Let’s talk about your fear. Fear is something that we all carry in our hearts and our souls and our minds and what we do with that fear is critical to how we walk through life. Is that right? Is that a part of what you do with people?
Alex Okoroji: Well, yes. The whole idea of, you know, the entire naked philosophy, it’s base and really giving people that freedom mindset. Right? When we say naked, it’s like you’re stripped, no barriers, no boundaries, the limits and believes you’re not imprisoned or caged by habits. A lot of us have that, but yes, we all carry fear, you know, whether it’s the fear of failure or it’s the fear of making a mistake or the fear of judgment or it’s the fear of other people’s opinions or the fear of… We all carry some form of fear and I think that the reason that we chase perfection, you know, and a lot of us… I’ve struggled with perfection for a long time and I think that the reason that we chase perfection is that fear. It’s that fear that we will not be accepted for who we are. We’ll not be for our mistakes, or for not knowing enough, for not being good enough. You know, we have all this in fear… And so the idea of the naked philosophy is to give people that freedom mindset to really just be who they are, to accept who they are. Right? And when you feel free, there’s some kind of… When you feel liberated, there’s a liberation that comes from really feeling free, you’re not afraid anymore.
David Brower: Yeah, absolutely right.
Alex Okoroji: Once you have that, and that’s what the whole, you know, it’s like when you strip naked and I think about this and you know, literally be naked, there’s some kinds of freedom because there are no barriers, no clothes, nothing, so nothing getting in the way of… You know, you just feel free and when you feel free, there really is no fear because you can’t put freedom and fear in the same place.
David Brower: I was just going to say I think the naked philosophy is huge, because I think there’s a lot of people in our culture today, varying age groups, vary economic whatever, that just the word naked freaks them out, you know? You know what I mean?
David Brower: And so to have a naked philosophy and how to strip your BS. I mean, my God, that is just… I mean, the language you use is so important and it’s so transparent and it gives people the opportunity if they’ll take the opportunity to really question what’s going on in their lives and, and take a look at that mirror, be it real or imagined, you know, stand in front of that mirror. And what are those scars, you know, are you afraid of disappointment because you don’t want to be disappointed in yourself, or are you afraid of disappointment for the way others are going to talk to you? I mean, it’s a whole gambit of stuff that you work with people on.
Alex Okoroji: Yes, it is. It’s so funny that when people talk to me, they say, Oh, Alex, you’re so confident and you’re so this… I never really was this confident, I never really was… You know, I was a child who never used to talk, and it’s so funny now I can go on talking for hours, I’m like a chatter box but I was afraid of a lot of things. And I say that when you just experience that freedom, all of a sudden you’re not afraid anymore to try out and follow your dreams, you’re not afraid anymore to attempt things that you’ve never attempted, you’re not afraid to even spill you’re not afraid. You’re like, oh my God, I have the world in my hands, you know, I design my future like my destiny is in my hands. Not because there isn’t a super power, but because your confidence with… You’re no longer afraid of is this freedom to just exist and leave and enjoy who you really are.
David Brower: And I think the other part of that is, on your absolute worse day is still a great day.
Alex Okoroji: Yes.
David Brower: Right?
Alex Okoroji: Absolutely yes.
David Brower: And if people don’t want to get a piece of that, I mean, come on. Can you imagine? I mean, goosebumps number two, I mean, that’s just the golden ring right there.
Alex Okoroji: I used to be such a worrier, it’s so funny how I don’t recognize… I don’t see that person anymore, I haven’t seen that person in years but I used to be a worrier. I used to worry about so many things, I used to worry about walking out the door and getting hit by a car, I’d worry about doing something and showing up in the newspaper the next day. I was worried about talking to someone and you know, it was headline news, I was worried about so many things. You find out that in life we’re almost all acting out of fear, living out of fear ,you know, you’re worried about so many things. And it’s like, what the hell? You carry all this baggage, right? So when we talk about being really naked, it’s like stripping all the baggage, whatever that baggage is, your scars, disappointment, challenges, take it off, take it. [crosstalk 00:10:29]
David Brower: And don’t feel so overwhelmed by it, that you have to do all at once. I mean chip away at it, right?
Alex Okoroji: Exactly.
David Brower: Because if you try to do all at once, guess what, you’re going to be afraid because you can’t do it all at once.
Alex Okoroji: It becomes very scary, like Oh my God, how am I going to get out of here? You know, this is too much for me, I can’t handle this, I’m overwhelmed, I’m burned out. I’m this, I’m all of that and that’s because again, you’re living by other people’s, you know, their timelines, their deadlines. Like I have to do it within the next… You know if I don’t do this now, my family is going to say, you know, I’m not working hard enough or haven’t done this or I haven’t… But when we are in control with that decision, you know, whatever it is that we need to handle or deal with or manifest, then you just realize that you call the shots. Like you literally call the shots.
David Brower: Right, what a concept. I mean have the ability to have the control, to call the shots without the ego, if you will, because it’s very genuine. It’s very transparent. It’s very authentic. It’s not being on a stage or on a movie screen, it’s who you are. And so I mean, it’s not bragging if it’s true. You know what I mean?
Alex Okoroji: It is true. And we’ll talk about that. I remember saying to someone that it felt so different when all of a sudden I controlled the narrative, it’s like I decide that this is what I will accomplish, this is how I’m going to accomplish it. Right. And it’s okay if it takes me longer than I planned, I’m going to enjoy the journey because I’m not under pressure, I’m no longer on the societal pressure.
David Brower: You’re not on a clock, you’re on the journey.
Alex Okoroji: Exactly.
David Brower: It says here, you are known, so it must be true, you are known for championing the movement for raw and honest expression on a mission to empower individuals to achieve the transformation mindset they need, and not only personally but professionally. So how do people reach out to you, how do you get in contact with people, how do you touch people’s lives through your website as a starting point or what’s the best way?
Alex Okoroji: Well, the best way most people reach out… It’s so funny people reach out to from my website, if they go to alexokoroji.me, and me because it is me.
David Brower: Dot me because it is all about you.
Alex Okoroji: But they can reach out to me there or on social media, but I also run my own Media company. And so what I really do is, you know in the media company I handle everything including publishing, and branding and all of that, but from an authentic place, they’re from an authentic… So I show, really a lot my clients how to use that freedom mindset. And I noticed this, even in business there’s a lot of restriction, you know, everybody’s doing it this way, so this is the only way to do it. No, it’s not the only way to do it, like what about we try it this way?
David Brower: What about letting your way come out you know, what is your way about?
Alex Okoroji: Exactly, what about you’re way? That’s just as a whole lot of difference with that, with not having to follow, you know… Break the rules, create your own rules.
David Brower: No, that’s right, create your own rules, yeah. It’s fascinating on your website and folks, I encourage you to go to her website. It’s alexokoroji.her No, dot me, I’m teasing.
David Brower: But I mean everybody talks about, I shouldn’t say everybody, but it seems like a lot of people talk about media. Of course, I’ve been in media all my life so I’m a little sensitive to it but you know, media this, media that, media controls this, media controls that. And what’s fascinating to me about you is you take control of media. I mean you help people understand how important it is to hear somebody speak, how to work with you, how to earn genuine testimonials, how to learn about you, how to listen on the radio, how to read your blog, because you provide all kinds of opportunities for people to really genuinely get a feel for what you’re about, and if they get even a smallest sense of that, it’s got to be an epiphany for people to go, well, I want what she’s got.
Alex Okoroji: You know, you make me sound so great right now, David.
David Brower: Well, you are. I mean, I’m being very objective here. Seriously, because you have so much going on and then it comes from such a wonderful place. And I admire you a lot, it’s pretty cool, man. It’s pretty cool. You’ve got a new book out called Uncovered and it’s available print, did you do the audio book?
Alex Okoroji: Yes, there’s an audiobook.
David Brower: Did you voice it though?
Alex Okoroji: Yes, I did. Yes, I voiced [inaudible 00:15:44] yes, I did, I love voice.
David Brower: Good. I do audio books so I wanted to make sure you did your own because it would so not translate, if somebody else was doing it, you know what I mean?
Alex Okoroji: Yes. No, it had to be my own voice.
David Brower: Yeah, your own best enemy, right? Because the rest of us are too busy being our own worst enemy, so. You can teach people how to be their own best enemy, I think that’s cool. So visit the website, just looking at one place… I mean if you have two minutes and you go to the website and you read how I found my purpose and reinvented myself, that two minutes will get your attention. It’ll help you understand what Alex is about, her naked thoughts, her naked projects and we mean that in the nicest way. So check it out. It’s Alex alexokoroji.me I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed this, it’s been a real treat.
Alex Okoroji: I’ve had so much fun, I’ve been toppling all the way in, this has been such a good conversation, David. Thank you so much for just your critique, and to share with your audience, and to be here. I’m so overwhelmed and excited.
Allan Blackwell: Listen to your 20 minute podcast with David Brower on the go. Downloads are available on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, iTunes, iHeartRadio, Spotify, any podcast app, and on our website at davidbrowervo.com/your20minutepodcast. Until next time, thank you for listening.
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